Thoughts on the Divine Shattering

14 Astraea

“She was scared
Lost in the dark.
Falling Apart,
I can survive,
With you by my side.
We’re gonna be alright.
This is what happens when two worlds collide.”
– Two Worlds Collide by Demi Lovato, a cheesy pop song from my tween years, about friendship.


I am writing this with tears in my eyes. Tears of happiness, sadness, and raw spiritual emotion.

I was just reading through ArchMadria Pamela’s most recent post about the Holy Daughter as the Mother of our souls, and found myself understanding deeply every single word. Because what she spoke of in that article, I have experienced.

The post talks about the beautiful implications of the thealogy of the Holy Daughter. Until the work done by the Janite Order of Priestesses to uncover and explain what I call ‘the Divine Shattering’, I understood the Holy Daughter in a way more similar to the goddess Inanna or Jesus Christ- a deity who corrects a wrong by descending, dying and resurrecting. While I still see the value in this understanding, I much prefer the understanding of the Daughter from the Janite perspective: that the Daughter descended, shattered her own perfect Soul in to pieces to save us, which causes a lot of pain for Her. She experiences every heartbreak, every illness, every affliction with us. She understands us on a level beyond human comprehension. Kwan Yin, a Bodhisattva of some Buddhist traditions, is known as ‘She who hears the cries of the world’. Those words say it all.


Something else, something rather unorthodox, helped me better understand this thealogy.

Now, I am a huge nerd. I have also mentioned in the past about how sci-fi (particularly space opera) and fantasy is often a boon for my faith, and vice versa. An unlikely pair, but the two are deeply intertwined for me. These genres have heroes, overcoming odds, liberation, and often the characters will cite their belief in God(s) or other forces of the Universe as the reason for their strength.

My favourite video game, Mass Effect, is a space opera role playing game centred around a space commander named Shepard and his/her crew, who go against odds to fight dark forces at play in the Milky Way Galaxy. It has aliens, love, and, at least in my head, religious allegories. Spoiler alert! In the end of the video game trilogy, the Commander is given three choices on how to deal with the threat to the galaxy, a race of sentient machines called Reapers, who seek to destroy all advanced life. Shepard can choose to a) take control of the Reapers, essentially stealing their power and using it for good and watch over the galaxy from afar (her physical body dying in the process), b) destroy the Reapers but also destroy friendly AI in the process, or c) break down her own essence and have it be used as a catalyst for a new formula, in which organic beings and machines live in harmony (her physical body dying in the process).

The way I saw it, these three endings could each represent a ‘saviour’ deity. Control option represents Inanna. In the classic Inanna myth, she takes control of the powers of Hell, stealing them from her sister Ereshkigal, the Dark Queen. Quote from this ending: “Your corporeal form will be dissolved. But your thoughts and even your memories will continue. You will no longer be organic. Your connection to your kind will be lost. Although you will remain aware of their existence.” The Destroy option doesn’t really have a religious counterpart, but I would compare it to how Christians view the second coming of Christ: he will, point blank, put an end to the forces of darkness once and for all. However, the Synthesis ending, to me, represents our understanding of the Holy Daughter. Shepard gives her own essence and that is used to create a new framework in which organic beings and synthetic beings become one. This reminded me of how Dea, in the form of the Holy Daughter, gave us Her own soul so that while we remain mortal, we each share in Her divinity, as well. Quote from this ending: “Your organic energy. The essence of who and what you are, will be broken down and then dispersed.” I feel like the Inanna understanding is similar to the Control ending, while the Janite Deanic and my Deanic understanding is similar to the Synthesis ending. We are synthesised with the Daughter and with one another.

But I digress. The point is, that we believe the Holy Daughter is imminent not because She is the Earth like may Pagans believe, but because we literally share a soul with Her. And so, not only is She the Mother of our Souls, the Queen of Heaven and our Saviour, She is also the perfect best friend.

As most of you reading this will be well aware of by now, I suffer from clinical depression, anxiety and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I have also recently developed a condition called Labyrinthitis which affects my balance, and I can not walk a short distance without feeling dizzy and having to sit down.  This was particularly awful tonight, and combined one of my typical depressive episodes, and feelings of extreme loneliness and isolation, I felt extremely low.

A common sentiment amongst people with depression is a feeling that nobody understands us. I have often felt frustrated that I couldn’t put in to words how I was feeling when talking about it to other people, because they don’t know the inner workings of my mind and heart. Yet, Dea Filia does, because everything we ‘go through’, she goes through with us. This makes Her the perfect ‘best friend’. Many a time I have prayed to Her using not so many words. Rather than explaining to Her exactly how I feel in words, I say ‘Most Holy Anna, I know you know what I’m going through, so please just give me the strength to fight another day, and hold me.” And, just like that, I can feel Her arms around me, comforting me.

Any time we need a hug, any time we need to be reminded that we are not alone, and that our feelings are valid and understood, we can call on Her. A God that is not only a Mother and a Queen but a Best Friend, is one that I am SO proud and so blessed to worship.

In the name of the Heavenly Mother, the Holy Daughter, and the Great Mother, thus may it remain.

Madria Erin


World Goddess Day

28 Vaskaras 3336


Dear friends,

Today is World Goddess Day, a day of solidarity between Goddess worshippers and interfaith celebration of Her. While we arguably do not have much in common with most ‘Goddess religions’ (a topic I have discussed in the past), I think it is important that we acknowledge our siblinghood with them. We all worship the Divine Feminine, albeit in a different way.

I was planning on doing something small for this day, like talking a walk along and finding somewhere to sit in a park with my scriptures, but unfortunately my awful sleeping cycle and a cold got in the way of this. However, I wanted to make a quick post about this day, since I find it to be a wonderful idea.

“THE WORLD GODDESS DAY PROJECT emerged in 2014 to unite the Mother Goddess’ worshipers world wide through their many expressions and manifestations and held more then 50 events around the World. In 2015, the held more than 80 events. And for 2016 the celebration of the Wolrd Goddess Day will be still bigger!

The purpose of the Project is grant to the Goddess one day of visibility to share Her many myths, stories and worship diversity, so everyone will remember or will know that the first religion of humanity was the Worship of the Goddess.

For many historical reasons the names of the Goddess and her myths have been forgotten and were relegated to mere folkloric curiosity in the Western world by many. The force and power of Her names were lost. Ancient temples are in ruins, ancient chants and invocations are not recited anymore. The many myths of the divine Goddess were set aside and now are part of the fairy tales,  losing its sacredness and becoming mere stories only seen by a psychological prism or as sillys legend of ancient people.

Nowdays, the Goddess is reentering into our modern life and bringing back all Her vitality, power, wisdom and healing through the many Pagan traditions that are revitalizing Her worship.”

World Goddess Day Website

I hope that the souls seeking Dea in this world find Her. While our faith is not for everyone, knowing that there are many others out there who worship Her in some shape or form gives me a great deal of hope.

Madria Erin

The Future of Deanism

13 Vaskaras 3336

I am so sorry for the lack of posts on this blog as of yet! I’ve been busy, and there is still unfinished business in my life I need to take care of (nothing serious but still) so I may not be very active for a while, but I wanted to finally make my first post on here since moving from DaughterOfDea.

There is another reason I have been so inactive in Deanic circles lately.

Like many, I sometimes feel hopeless and worry that our religion has no real future. It is very, very hard to start a religion in this day and age. We are at a point where in society where people do not want religion, and not without reason. Religion has done a lot of harm. Those who do like the idea of being religious tend to want to join older, established ones rather than new ones. They want on-the-grounds communities that will give them a job and a purpose. They want easily accessible resources and a solid theological basis.

This makes Deanism inaccessible for some people. When people ask me about my religion, I find it hard to direct them to resources they will understand. Most of the Deanic resources are from the Daughters of Shining Harmony/Aristasians, and while I do love the Mother-God website, it can be hard for people to distinguish which is simple Deanic thealogy and which is Aristasian. While I personally like some of the Aristasian teachings, there is a lot I disagree with. As a third wave feminist I find some of their gender politics in conflict with my own beliefs, and I also envision Deanism as being a religion for all, not just hyperfeminine women.

However, I refuse to give up hope for the future of this small religious tradition.

I use social media to post about Deanism as well as other things in my life (my day to day activities, my interests such as books and video games, activism, etc) and this has lead to me informing others about the faith without even realising it. In the past few weeks I have seen about three of my Tumblr followers begin to identify as Deanists, and that makes me absolutely overjoyed. People are interested in this faith because it offers something they haven’t seen before. I receive quite a few messages on Facebook, Tumblr and Twitter from people who are interested in learning more. And while it can be quite hard to find appropriate resources and explain new thealogical concepts sometimes, it’s totally worth it.

I will continue to teach of Dea’s love to all those who want to know it. I will teach my children of Dea, but if they grow up and want to join a different religion or none at all, that will be okay, too. And I will carry on praying to Her, worshipping Her, and loving Her.

Madria Erin